Sunday, December 21, 2014

The Annual Renewal of Hope

I hate when people talk about how the Christmas season has become stressful and busy and we need to slow down and appreciate things and "remember the reason for the season." Mostly because I never feel very stressed about Christmas or like I've forgotten why Christmas is a holiday and I just love this time of year. But I guess at some point I do start to get so wrapped up in the atmosphere and the Christmas parties and friends and family that I do sort of forget what it's all about in lieu of remembering what Jesus did for us.

But somehow, no matter what, God figures out a way to get to me and when I least expect the reality of the Christmas story and the fact that Jesus became human for humanity hits me like a freight train. And I never quite know how to handle myself in those moments, because I am stuck, immobile, paralyzed by the knowledge that God humbled himself, became one of us, taught us the truth, and died like a criminal for people who could never ever deserve it. It's like a light being turned on in a dim room, and all of a sudden everything becomes more clear.

It's kind of magical how this happens. I never anticipate it, and I never get tired of it. It fills me with such joy to know that there is a Light shining in this darkness that seems to consume our world and that the Light can never be overcome, no matter how dark it gets. It gives hope in this dismal world. It gives life to those who are dead. It brings peace to those who are weary.

I want this feeling of deep, heartfelt understanding and gratitude to be spread to every single person in the whole world.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Walking in Darkness

I've been following a lot of what's been going on in America recently in regards to the Ferguson riots, and now all the stuff about Eric Garner. I've also seen snippets of what's going on in places like Mexico right now and it seems like everywhere I turn, bad things are happening and I'm finding myself really disheartened and disillusioned lately.

But I was just reminded of something that I really needed to hear right now, and I think a lot of other people do too.

"I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." - John 8:12

We live in a dark world, but we don't have to live in darkness because we have Jesus, and he is the light of the world. Remember that today. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Problem with Optimism

So college and blogging are officially hard to do at the same time. For the past couple weeks I've been thinking "Man I should really post something" but then I always have homework, or an upcoming test, or I'd just rather watch Parks and Recreation instead.

I've been noticing something recently. I am a very optimistic person. I always try to look at the world in a positive light. I'm not always successful, but I try. I tend to see the best in people, and I suppose I can be naive at times because of it. But I find that the world is a much more pleasant place when you don't spend every waking hour criticizing things.

However, the thing I'm noticing is that a lot of people my age don't think like this. I hear so much criticism surrounding me about everything, whether it's classes or professors or activities put on by school or church or chapel or the dress code. You name it, I've heard people bash it. And it's a vicious cycle. The upperclassmen talk down about something, the underclassmen hear it and think that's the cool thing to do and we go along with it.

The culmination of this whole thought process I've been having about this for the past few months was chapel this morning. Everyone has been making a big deal out of today's chapel for a while. The administration saying how great it's going to be, the students talking about how it's like a train wreck you can't look away from. So going into chapel this morning, I wasn't really sure what to expect.

Now, let me be honest here. It wasn't the best chapel we've ever had. They did a skit type thing that was pretty cheesy and a lot of their jokes fell flat and I didn't quite agree with everything they said (there was some eye rolling involved). Everything they said was something I'd heard before. But you know what, it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. It was fairly entertaining and hey it wasn't someone lecturing directly off a sheet of paper for an hour. I don't really want to mention the fact that I sort of liked it, though, because everyone else so fervently hated it that I'm afraid I'm going to get accosted.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I've noticed that if you're un-ironically enthusiastic about something, people often see you as unintelligent or naive. Because obviously being intelligent means being above anything common or rudimentary. If you're educated, or even just if you're cool, you can't enjoy anything because you have to spend your time criticizing it to show your superiority.

I don't mean this to sound like I'm condemning everyone, because I'm not. I know a lot of people who do not have this negative mindset, and I'm so appreciative of that. They are the people that keep me from losing hope in optimism. So I guess I'll just keep trying to stay optimistic and maybe, hopefully, it will rub off on some people.

Lisa

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Oops

Guess who's been meaning to blog for weeks? If you guessed me, you would be right. I really honestly have meant to post, however, apparently college keeps you pretty busy. Who'd'a thunk? Therefore you can probably guess that I am writing this instead of facing the million miles pages I have to read and papers I have to write.

I hardly even know where to start. I feel like the past three weeks have lasted for years. Being home seems like a very distant memory, even though it was less than a month ago. Homesickness has set in a little bit, but I feel like the full force of it has yet to hit me.

Classes are going about as well as you would expect. I've only missed one class so far and it was math, so I almost can't complain about that. The thing they never prepared me for in high school is the amount of reading you have to do in college. Let me tell you. I have so much reading. Which makes it easy to put off, because it doesn't really feel like homework the same way worksheets and research papers do.

The non-reading homework I do have, though, is much more involved and proactive than anything I ever had in high school. For my Theory of Wellness class, I'm required to work out for at least 30 minutes three times a week. (Which, to be completely honest is probably a good thing. I'm just barely escaping Freshman Fifteen here.) For my music class I have to attend three concerts and fill out questionnaire about them. In high school, things like that were extra credit.

One thing I've learned is that involvement in the community is a very proactive thing. It doesn't just happen naturally. Sure, I've made a few friends just from classes or meeting them randomly around campus, but it's not quite enough. You actually have to involve yourself in a group, which means you can't just sit around your room all the time, which I've discovered is very easy to do.

I have to say, I really do like it here. It's really nice to have everything so close. For the past three years I've gotten used to going to school half an hour from home and having my friends live an hour away and driving all around the city to get where I was going. Here, I walk everywhere. I walk to class and to the gym and to church and Dollar General. If I actually drive somewhere, usually it's Walmart. And in stark contrast to having my friends live far away, my best friend at school lives directly across the hall from me.

Missing home comes in waves. Sometimes I want to hang out with my friends and it takes me a minute to realize that I can't, because I'm not even in the same state anymore. I almost started crying in chapel the other day when the speaker's daughter introduced him, and I started thinking about how long it had been since I'd seen my parents. I wish I was home more so I could go see my brother and his wife or my sister and her ever-growing baby bump.

Overall, though, college is already pretty great and I can't wait for it to get even better as I'm sure it will. There are so many opportunities to explore and adventures to be had. That is, if I ever finish this Fine Arts chapter. Maybe I should get back to that.

Farewell for now!
Lisa

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Ice, Water, and Controversy

About a week ago videos started popping up on Facebook of people pouring large buckets of ice water over their heads and calling it the "Ice Bucket Challenge." Honestly, I really thought nothing of it. The "challenge" video is a format I'm very used to. It's popular with YouTubers who do the "7 Second Challenge" and the "Photo Booth Challenge" and basically anything else that can possibly be made into a challenge. But what I missed at the beginning of this paragraph is that it isn't just called the "Ice Bucket Challenge," it's called the "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge."

Let's be real, I had absolutely no clue what ALS was. I knew it was some sort of debilitating disease, but that's about as far as my knowledge extended. I didn't know that ALS stands for "amyotrophic lateral sclerosis" or that people who suffer with it become progressively more trapped inside their own bodies. Basically, ALS is the death of motor neurons, which causes the loss of ability to perform motor functions. It is a disease that gradually gets worse until it ends in death. And I knew none of this before the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge peaked my curiosity.

So the premise of the Ice Bucket Challenge is this: Once a person get's "tagged" by someone else, they have 24 hours to make a video of themselves getting ice water dumped over their head, or pay $100 to the ALS association. But as with everything, after a week of being bombarded by videos of people getting drenched with ice water, people began to speak out against the movement.

The arguments against it are worth listening to and considering. Some argue that doing the challenge in order to get out of donating $100 is promoting the opposite of what it's trying to. They say the challenge is a way to get out of donating to charity, and that it's promoting that you should avoid giving money. Some people say it just doesn't sit right with them. Some people say by doing a fun challenge, we're making light of a serious topic.

But here's my opinion. Before this challenge started showing up on my newsfeed, I only had a rough idea of what ALS was and to be honest I hadn't really ever thought twice about it. Now I know what it is, and now I'm concerned about it. Now I am aware that it exists and that there are ways to help. Money isn't everything. Sometimes just awareness can help. But money is something, and it's very helpful. The argument that the challenge is ineffective because the point is to avoid raising money is not true at all, and I can show you that here. Oh and did I mention here. Sometimes even if people do the challenge, they still donate money because they recognize that it is a good cause. Especially celebrities who do it, since they tend to have more money to donate in the first place. Lastly, who cares if it's fun? Is that a bad thing? Must we always be somber and serious when dealing with serious things? Personally, I don't think so. Because if we did, I think everyone would be a lot more downhearted all the time.

Until next time,
Lisa

Thursday, July 31, 2014

I Don't Know if I'm Ready for This

Confession time


I am utterly terrified of going to college. I get scared that I'm not going to like it or I'm going to spend four years there and still not know what I want to do or I'm going to lose touch with things that are happening back home. I'm so petrified of losing the friends I've gained the past 18 years of my life that I've spent living in the same place. I'm scared that my senioritis isn't going to wear off and I'm going to be just as bad about procrastinating as I am now. I'm afraid of leaving the church that I've just recently found myself fitting into and really loving. 

But I'm so so so excited about going, too. I'm excited to be in a new place and meet new people and be independent. I'm excited to be in a place where my friends all live two minutes from me instead of an hour. I'm excited to start learning stuff that actually seems relevant to what I want to get a job doing. I'm excited to be somewhere so different from what I've known my entire life. 

These emotions tend to fluctuate within me, sometimes within the same day. Sometimes even within the same hour. It's this weird combination of emotions that I don't exactly know how to handle. I keep reminding myself that God's going to be there with me and that he has everything under control, but I can't see it happening and it's hard to persuade myself into believing it. 

I'm hoping all of this will get better when I actually get to school, but something tells me that's not going to be immediate. Change is pretty terrifying to me and I have had more of it recently than I've had in my entire life. I suppose it's time I start embracing it instead of fearing it, but that's pretty difficult to do. I'm working on it, but I'm not quite there yet. 

I'm sure I'll keep you updated on how that goes.
Lisa

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

i hate talking about this

1)Yes, I left the letter i uncapitalized to be stylish.

2)Yes it is driving me absolutely bananas.

3)Yes, I am avoiding the real topic here.


Because of the way the world works, we humans have preconceived notions of things we deserve and we expect to get them. If a prize is promised to the winner of a sprinting competition, the person who wins expects to get that prize because it's fair. It would be considered rude or even cruel for the person who made the promise not to fulfill it.

Despite this, all our lives we hear the phrase "Life's not fair." It's one of those phrases that everyone knows without knowing where they learned it from. It's horribly annoying, actually, because we all know life's not fair and we all still REALLY REALLY REALLY wish it was. This in itself we consider injustice at its highest level.

When I was little I learned about the creation story, just like every little kid who grows up in Sunday School. I've heard the story so many times that I know what thing was made on what day and that at the end of every night "God declared it was good." And I know that on the last day God made man out of the dust of the earth and that He saved the best for last because humans are His absolute favorite creation and we are made in His image which basically means we're the most important thing to exist. I mean, that's it, right?

I think we have this sense of entitlement because we're Humans and we're God's Favorite and we deseeeerrrrvvvveee to be treated as such. And we all have this driving question  of "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?" that keeps so many people from Christianity and so many Christians helplessly confused. Because it's just not fair.

We think God owes us a good, comfortable, safe life as long as we're a "good" person and don't do drugs or get drunk all the time or hurt people. We feel like we need to be rewarded for all the "things we do for God" because that's what's fair. And I put that in sarcasm quotation marks because we see "things we do for God" as being good little Christians and tithing and going to church when half the time we do these things because we think they're what's keeping us from Hell.

I didn't think I thought that, but I'm starting to wonder. And wow, that is hard for me to admit.

Here's the bitter, hard truth. It's the point I've been avoiding for the past half hour I've spent writing this.

God doesn't owe us anything. It's we that owe Him every facet of our lives because without His mercy we would be as hopeless as a spider in a little girl's bedroom. 

We are the most dirty rotten sinners ever to exist. Yes, maybe we tithe our money and do service projects and try our darnedest not to gossip, but we still secretly envy our best friends and look at stuff on the internet that we shouldn't and lord our extensive movie knowledge over others.

It seems to me that the "Why does God let bad things happen to good people" question is a fallacy because we aren't good people. We don't deserve anything that God may or may not give us.

I realize this may seem like a complete downer rant that only ends in negativity but hold on a second. Doesn't God still give us stuff anyway? I mean not 100% of the time, but sometimes? Yeah, actually, He does. No matter what He gives us, it's more than we deserve. And He gives us SO MUCH STUFF. Not "stuff" in the sense of material possessions, but stuff as in life and community and second chances. And third and fourth and fifth chances.

We don't deserve that. If God withheld those things from us, that would be completely fair. So yeah, life isn't fair.

And that's pretty fantastic news.

-Lisa

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

"Choose to be an Optimist, it Feels Better."

Rain and Cincinnati are two things that go together more often than not. Two other things that tend to go together are life and unexpected circumstances.

This evening, upon hearing thunder, I realized I should take the dog for a walk before it began to rain. This is not the first time I've had this happen, and in the past it has ended in me being very wet. This time was no exception. However, this time I was prepared; I actually brought an umbrella. It started drizzling when I was a street away from my house, but I was unperturbed. I opened my umbrella and casually started walking home at a brisk pace so the dog wouldn't get too upset. (He doesn't like being wet.) It was then that the heavens opened up and we were definitely getting wet- sorry dog. 

The problem was, I would have run home for the sake of the wet puppy, but he has a slightly injured leg and I didn't think running on it would be the best thing for him. I continued walking at a brisk pace, trying to cover at least part of the dog with my umbrella while still staying under it myself. Halfway back down the street I gave it up, as I was getting pretty wet already. I abandoned the umbrella and held it over the dog instead, soaking my sweatshirt. This must have looked pretty ridiculous to the few people that drove past: girl walking down street getting drenched in the rain while trying to keep her dog dry. Not that there was much hope. He was pretty wet too. But I was trying to make him less miserable so he'd be more inclined to walk the street-length home. By the time we made it home, I was as wet as if I had just taken a dip in a pool fully clothed.

Now, one has two choices in a situation like this. The first choice is to become annoyed, moody, and mopey, which is basically what my dog did. You can grumble as you struggle to get your arm out of the sweatshirt that's suctioned itself to you and slam the door of the clothes dryer before stomping back upstairs. Or, you can embrace the fact that you are very wet and it is beautifully raining outside and there's no use being bitter. 

The road I chose to take this time was the second one. I dropped the dog off inside, drying him off a bit and leaving the towel for him to lay on. I did strip off my sweatshirt, (struggling to get it off my arm which it had suctioned itself to) but instead of drying myself off, I took off my shoes and ran back outside. I spent about fifteen minutes sitting in the rain, splashing in puddles, and probably concerning the neighbors. 


Running through the rain is something I haven't done in a long time. It's so weird, and kind of magical. No one else is outside and you feel like you have the whole world to yourself. The clouds make the sky feel low and you just sit and watch it rain while huge drops fall on your back. Or you can sing and run around because, heck, no one else is around. 

I'm not saying this is how I handle life all the time. Days pass where all I want to be is grumpy and unpleasant and on those days unexpected circumstances aren't welcomed when they come. However, I think if you don't live life like this at least some of the time it gets easier and easier to forget the beauty of being alive. 

Plus, it makes throwing on a pair of warm pajamas that much more satisfying. And then I sit down on the couch and watch Netflix and eat ice-cream and blog about hanging around in the rain because I'm a writer and that's what I do. 



As Winston Churchill once said, "A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." 

Or, to pull from The Fault in Our Stars, after Isaac has gone blind and Augustus runs into the room yelling "I have wonderful news!... You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!"

Or, for my last quote as Dalai Lama said, "Choose to be an optimist, it feels better." 

Lisa

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Pro tip

Don't ever base your worth on anything related to social media

-Lisa 

Friday, May 23, 2014

Inspiration

I got an email today amongst my many emails that I never read. This one was from a writing blog I subscribed to a while ago. The subject line for this particular email read "You should be writing..." to which I immediately thought "I know, I know." I opened the email, though, which I only do once in a blue moon. The basis of the email was that they were asking people to submit things that inspired them to write. I didn't submit anything, but I did start thinking about what inspires me.

There are a lot of different things that inspire me to write, and some of it depends on what mood I'm in. One of the things I thought of while looking at this email was that being really tired tends to inspire me to write. I wonder if maybe that happens because I stop thinking about what is reasonable or rational or what will sound good, and I just write. This is slightly problematic, however, because by the time I'm halfway through with what I'm writing I can barely keep my eyes open and I would much rather go to sleep than finish whatever scene I'm working on. Despite this, it does have at least one added bonus. Usually when I write like this I'm so tired my eyes are practically closed and after I'm done I immediately turn my light off and fall asleep. The awesome part of this is that when I wake up I remember that I've written something, but I don't remember what it was so I re-read the things I wrote the previous night as if I'd never seen them before. Which is quite helpful in the editing process.

Another thing that inspires me is being in different places. Whenever I'm on a long road trip, I find myself journalling pages at a time without a problem, which is not something I can normally do without smacking myself multiple times and saying "YOU NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING SO YOUR BRAIN DOESN'T FALL OUT." or something equally dramatic. But when I'm away from home, I find writing inspiration everywhere. I don't even have to be that far away. I can walk down my street to Panera and be much more motivated there than I am at my own kitchen table. Part of it might be a new environment where I more alert than I am often at home. But that's just my working hypothesis.

I also love to people-watch. People are just so interesting to me. And sometimes someone I see will stick out to me as a fascinating person. Whether they really are or not, I'm intrigued by them and I make these elaborate back stories in my head about what they're like and what they do for a living and I sort of take these real people I meet and make them into characters in my head. I start thinking about whether this person/character would like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and if they prefer to drive with the windows down or the AC on. Just little things that make up characters. It's good exercise for my brain.

What inspires your hobby? Is there anything that anti-inspires you? (aka gives you the whatever-your-hobby-is version of writer's block.)

Until next time inspiration strikes,
Lisa

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The End

I find it kind of ironic to start out a new blog with the post called "The End." But then I've always been a fan of artistic irony. I decided it was about time to start a new blog, for a few reasons. One, because my old one was under a different email address and since Google and Blogger are now linked, it was a pain in the butt switching accounts all the time. Two, because the old one was feeling a bit cluttered to me. I mean I've had it since 2009. It was time. And three, because I've hit a period of great change and I decided that deserves a new blog.

Tomorrow is my last day as a senior in high school and that's insanely weird to me. I've started having a lot of "lasts" and I don't know how to process it all. Mid-April, I had my last high school play. Yesterday was my last dance class. Tomorrow is my last day of school. Later on this summer will be my last piano lesson, my last day of d-group, my last day of work. I don't think it's quite sunken in yet.

On a positive note, I'm very very excited to go to college. It seems like my roommate and I are going to get along really well. I've picked a tentative major. I'm super close to turning in my transcript (after tomorrow, actually, when I'm officially graduated) and scheduling my classes.

As exciting as it is, though, it's also intimidating. I've never really had this big of a change happen to me. I've never lived anywhere else but Cincinnati before. I haven't even moved around Cincinnati; I've lived in the same house my whole life. I've never been away from my parents for more than a week. I barely even do my own laundry. College is going to be an adjustment.

So here's to an end. I always hate endings, but they always happen so there's really nothing to do but accept it and make the best of it. And to look forward to the things I've got going for me in the future.

Lisa