What I Want for my Day Old Niece

Today I went to the mall to get a few new things I've been needing for a while. As I was trying them on to make sure they fit right, I looked in the mirror and noticed stretch marks that hadn't been there before and I sort of thought, "Well, the golden days are over." because it's just really easy to feel bad about your body. And then as I went to put on my pajamas, I noticed what it said on the bag they gave me at the store.

Then I started thinking about my little baby niece who has been in this world for about ten hours now. And I thought about how one day she will probably have feelings a lot like the ones I had today. I think about how loved she is already within hours of her birth by so many people, and how many people would give her the world if they had the power. Suddenly the only thing I wanted was to make sure that she would never have these kind of demeaning thoughts about herself.  I want her to never see herself as anything less than created individually by God for a wonderful purpose. 

Yet I know this is not realistic. I know that one day she will have negative thoughts about herself because everyone does. As much as we want to protect babies from the real world, it's never going to happen. So instead we have to equip them to know the truths about God so that they can interpret the world around them in a wise way.

I don't look like a model, and that's fine. Not many people do, really. And to expect that of yourself is ridiculous. What I want for this tiny baby is to grow up knowing and believing that she is created in the image of God and that whether or not her physical body fits with western culture's standard of beauty, I want her to know that who she is far outweighs what she looks like.

I can't force her to believe these things. But I hope and I pray that I can be secure in myself in order that I can be a positive role model for her. And I pray that others around her and the peers that will influence her will show her love and kindness and grace to help form her into a confident follower of Christ above all else. 

-(Excited new aunt) Lisa

Snow-Formed Unity

A normal night in the dorm. Studying is being attempted with little success. Netflix is on in the background. But tonight there's a slight air of tension. There's been rumors floating around of a heavy snowfall overnight, bringing with it the age old question: "Snow day?"

However, as Asbury students we aren't holding our breath too much. We are known for never having snow days. And yet, there's enough of a chance, just enough that we're waiting. We're refreshing our emails every once in a while just in case. 

Suddenly, screaming erupts on the hall. Either someone just got a boyfriend, or there's a snow day. Dear God please let there be a snow day. Two seconds later, I get the text. 

"AU campus closed Monday, Feb. 16. Essential employees report to work."

And now you can hear screaming coming from not only the hall, but the hall above you, and the hall below you, and the lobby. So we hang out in the hall for a while and yell "WE HAVE A SNOW DAY" whenever someone walks up. At one point, a girl falls onto her knees out of relief. 

So that's how my night went last night. Today was spent sledding, freezing my face off, watching people play ping pong in the Student Center, and watching Netflix. Then, 5:30 today another text goes out while practically the whole school is in the cafeteria.

"AU campus closed Tuesday, Feb. 17. Essential employees report to work."

I was walking outside the caf and I could hear the cheering loud and clear. 

Days like this are so much fun. There's such a sense of community the snow has brought. People are sledding down hills on lunch trays and lids from plastic tubs. Making snow angels in the courtyard while girls watch from their windows. My friend from Florida was excited because it was her first snow day ever. It's just all around fun. Everyone is in a good mood, and it's a teeny bit like heaven on earth. 

It's fun. I know it can't last forever, and I guess I don't want it to, but for two days it's pretty fantastic. It's made me feel like we've put aside some of our differences and united with this common ally of snow. 

Thanks, Asbury, for letting us have a couple days like this. 

Lisa

The Everlasting Fear of the Unknown

I had this scary thought the other day. When you're growing up, you always feel like you're very mature and you have it all together, even when adults laugh to themselves and say "okay honey" and let you feel like you're right. But I have hit this point in life where I'm starting to realize that I really don't know anything. It's like all at once I realized that I have barely any life experience, and I have so much ahead of me that it seems never-ending.

In the moment when I realized this I suddenly had so many worries; both little worries and big ones. Little ones, like am I going to be able to pull off this presentation well? Am I ever going to figure out how to use this audio equipment? Will I do well on my bio exam on Friday? How in the world do you write a resume? And then big, huge, looming worries. Like will I be able to get a job that I want? Am I going to grow to be the person I want to be? Am I going to be able to keep up with all the challenges that scare me right now, like doing taxes or making doctors appointments or an endless list of other things? Because right now they seem overwhelming and I can't possibly imagine how people deal with them on a regular basis.

So when I have these worries, and I start to freak out about them, I remind myself of that post I wrote right before I started college. I remind myself of how terrified I was then that I wouldn't make friends or that everything would be too hard. And I can remind myself that I'm figuring all that stuff out. And yeah things are still hard and terrifying but there's no point in wasting my time being scared.

I've gotten through my whole life so far. There's a pretty good chance I'm going to get through this, too. I just have to stop thinking about everything at one time and take it one day at a time.

Off to make a million check lists so I can feel really great when I finish something and get to check it off the list,
Lisa

Passion 2015: A Recap

An arena filled with 20,000 people isn't necessarily uncommon. It happens all the time at sporting events and big concerts and political rallies. What is uncommon is when every single one of the 20,000 seats in the house are filled with people who are there for no other reason than to worship and learn about Christ. And let me tell you, that's a mind-blowing experience.

I went to the Passion Conference in Atlanta, Georgia last year, and it was pretty cool. I went again this year, and it was incredible. This year's conference absolutely blew me away. There's no way I can cover all of it, but I'll get to some of the big things.

So to start out, one of the first things I realized as soon as we got to our hotel in Georgia is that I forgot my phone chord at home. But everyone has iPhones, right? Surely someone in my group would have a chord for an iPhone 5. Nope. Not a single one. Okay, well, I'd just buy a cheap charger at a gas station. Bought a charger. It didn't work. So then I thought, okay, I think I saw a charging station at the arena.

Couldn't find it.

As if God wasn't being clear enough already. It was time for me to focus on Him.

So my phone was dead for most of the weekend. And when I did finally find the charging station I only ended up with about a 40% charge, and therefore left my data off and my screen brightness down all the way unless I absolutely needed to use my phone. And so with that distraction gone, God started working.

And honestly, I have never worshipped like that in my whole life. I didn't have the chance to be distracted by the world wide web that's accessible to me on my phone and I could therefore be entirely focused on the worship, and the messages, and ultimately on God. And the one moment that sticks out in my mind is at around midnight last night, the band was playing a very intimate, acoustic set. And there was this song playing. I don't know what it's called, and I can't find it by googling the lyrics. I don't even know if it's out yet or if it was written just for this weekend. But the lyrics went like this:

"Like a bride waiting for her groom,
We'll be a church ready for you.
Every heart longing for our King
We sing
Even so come."

And the sound of people's voices wasn't blocked by loud drums or electric guitars. Our voices carried, and people sang at the top of their lungs. And I could feel the power and the passion and honestly, it felt like the roof of the arena was going to split open right then and there and Jesus was going to descend from the sky.

All day while we worshiped, I just couldn't stop myself from laughing, and then crying, and then laughing while crying because I was so incredibly overwhelmed by the love of Jesus. I was so filled with joy at being in His presence in such a powerful way that I didn't even know what else to do except sing with everything in me.

Another amazing facet of Passion this year was the community group time. Apparently this has been an integral part of Passion since the beginning, but last year for whatever reason it was left out. Let me tell you, I didn't know what I was missing.

So the community groups were decided by the color of the wristband you got at the beginning of the weekend. Mine, for instance, was red. The Red community group was the smallest, with only about 1,000 people in it. And within the community group, you ended up with groups of about 8 people that became your family group. During the community group time, you and your family group would work through questions about the message from the previous main session.

I don't know how I managed to get such an absolutely fantastic group of people. We had nine people from all over the country, with the only commonality being that we were all born in September. (We found our groups by trying to find other people with our birthdays and somehow all the September people ended up in the same spot.) And during the course of the weekend we unpacked scripture together, we talked about our own struggles, we encouraged and affirmed each other. And over the four sessions I spent with them I feel like I got to know them on a deep level. Even since we left, all of us have been texting each other almost non-stop. I'm pretty sad now, because I know the chances of me ever seeing any of them again are slim. But I am so grateful for their openness and kind hearts.

This Passion trip was changing. I learned so much. My head learned and my heart learned. And I don't think the things I learned are going away like at a lot of events like this where the "Jesus high" wears off once you're back in the real world. And I'm going to pray that I never go back to that world without Jesus.

Another thing about conferences is that you don't get much sleep. Which means now I really need sleep. Which means I am going to bed.

In humble awe,
Lisa

The Annual Renewal of Hope

I hate when people talk about how the Christmas season has become stressful and busy and we need to slow down and appreciate things and "remember the reason for the season." Mostly because I never feel very stressed about Christmas or like I've forgotten why Christmas is a holiday and I just love this time of year. But I guess at some point I do start to get so wrapped up in the atmosphere and the Christmas parties and friends and family that I do sort of forget what it's all about in lieu of remembering what Jesus did for us.

But somehow, no matter what, God figures out a way to get to me and when I least expect the reality of the Christmas story and the fact that Jesus became human for humanity hits me like a freight train. And I never quite know how to handle myself in those moments, because I am stuck, immobile, paralyzed by the knowledge that God humbled himself, became one of us, taught us the truth, and died like a criminal for people who could never ever deserve it. It's like a light being turned on in a dim room, and all of a sudden everything becomes more clear.

It's kind of magical how this happens. I never anticipate it, and I never get tired of it. It fills me with such joy to know that there is a Light shining in this darkness that seems to consume our world and that the Light can never be overcome, no matter how dark it gets. It gives hope in this dismal world. It gives life to those who are dead. It brings peace to those who are weary.

I want this feeling of deep, heartfelt understanding and gratitude to be spread to every single person in the whole world.

Walking in Darkness

I've been following a lot of what's been going on in America recently in regards to the Ferguson riots, and now all the stuff about Eric Garner. I've also seen snippets of what's going on in places like Mexico right now and it seems like everywhere I turn, bad things are happening and I'm finding myself really disheartened and disillusioned lately.

But I was just reminded of something that I really needed to hear right now, and I think a lot of other people do too.

"I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." - John 8:12

We live in a dark world, but we don't have to live in darkness because we have Jesus, and he is the light of the world. Remember that today. 

The Problem with Optimism

So college and blogging are officially hard to do at the same time. For the past couple weeks I've been thinking "Man I should really post something" but then I always have homework, or an upcoming test, or I'd just rather watch Parks and Recreation instead.

I've been noticing something recently. I am a very optimistic person. I always try to look at the world in a positive light. I'm not always successful, but I try. I tend to see the best in people, and I suppose I can be naive at times because of it. But I find that the world is a much more pleasant place when you don't spend every waking hour criticizing things.

However, the thing I'm noticing is that a lot of people my age don't think like this. I hear so much criticism surrounding me about everything, whether it's classes or professors or activities put on by school or church or chapel or the dress code. You name it, I've heard people bash it. And it's a vicious cycle. The upperclassmen talk down about something, the underclassmen hear it and think that's the cool thing to do and we go along with it.

The culmination of this whole thought process I've been having about this for the past few months was chapel this morning. Everyone has been making a big deal out of today's chapel for a while. The administration saying how great it's going to be, the students talking about how it's like a train wreck you can't look away from. So going into chapel this morning, I wasn't really sure what to expect.

Now, let me be honest here. It wasn't the best chapel we've ever had. They did a skit type thing that was pretty cheesy and a lot of their jokes fell flat and I didn't quite agree with everything they said (there was some eye rolling involved). Everything they said was something I'd heard before. But you know what, it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. It was fairly entertaining and hey it wasn't someone lecturing directly off a sheet of paper for an hour. I don't really want to mention the fact that I sort of liked it, though, because everyone else so fervently hated it that I'm afraid I'm going to get accosted.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I've noticed that if you're un-ironically enthusiastic about something, people often see you as unintelligent or naive. Because obviously being intelligent means being above anything common or rudimentary. If you're educated, or even just if you're cool, you can't enjoy anything because you have to spend your time criticizing it to show your superiority.

I don't mean this to sound like I'm condemning everyone, because I'm not. I know a lot of people who do not have this negative mindset, and I'm so appreciative of that. They are the people that keep me from losing hope in optimism. So I guess I'll just keep trying to stay optimistic and maybe, hopefully, it will rub off on some people.

Lisa