I had this scary thought the other day. When you're growing up, you always feel like you're very mature and you have it all together, even when adults laugh to themselves and say "okay honey" and let you feel like you're right. But I have hit this point in life where I'm starting to realize that I really don't know anything. It's like all at once I realized that I have barely any life experience, and I have so much ahead of me that it seems never-ending.
In the moment when I realized this I suddenly had so many worries; both little worries and big ones. Little ones, like am I going to be able to pull off this presentation well? Am I ever going to figure out how to use this audio equipment? Will I do well on my bio exam on Friday? How in the world do you write a resume? And then big, huge, looming worries. Like will I be able to get a job that I want? Am I going to grow to be the person I want to be? Am I going to be able to keep up with all the challenges that scare me right now, like doing taxes or making doctors appointments or an endless list of other things? Because right now they seem overwhelming and I can't possibly imagine how people deal with them on a regular basis.
So when I have these worries, and I start to freak out about them, I remind myself of that post I wrote right before I started college. I remind myself of how terrified I was then that I wouldn't make friends or that everything would be too hard. And I can remind myself that I'm figuring all that stuff out. And yeah things are still hard and terrifying but there's no point in wasting my time being scared.
I've gotten through my whole life so far. There's a pretty good chance I'm going to get through this, too. I just have to stop thinking about everything at one time and take it one day at a time.
Off to make a million check lists so I can feel really great when I finish something and get to check it off the list,
Lisa
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